John 15:13

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

 Someone once asked me what it means that I loved them.  I thought about it for a second and this was my reply:

"It means that I would do anything for you, even if it hurt me."

Indeed the deepest and truest love is self-sacrificial in nature.  It gives of itself and never expects return.  It is crazy love, the kind of thing that makes you do all sorts of things you otherwise would never dream of doing.  What's crazier is that when Jesus says this, he is only foreshadowing his own death for his friends.  And while we were still enemies (Rom 5:10), he called us friends! (John 15:15)

God would do anything for us, even if it hurt him, even if it cost him his one and only beloved Son.  He paid the price anyway because of his love, he knew it would all be worth it in the end.  Oh how he loves us!  It's a love that overlooks all of our faults and failures and sees only us.  God is crazy to love us because he is crazy in love with us.

Romans 12:20

On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

This isn't a verse saying your enemies will be punished and condemned when you are nice to them.  These aren't the fiery coals of Hell.  You aren't secretly damning your enemies in some sort of sinister plot.  Rather a few commentaries on Proverbs 25:21-22 point out that burning coals is a smelting metaphor, a process of obtaining the valuable metals out of ore.  These burning coals have a refining effect of removing the impurities from the metal and leaving only what is valuable.  This is a beneficial effect.  Our enemies will be ashamed for they have nothing bad to say about us (Titus 2:6-8) and may turn into friends.

But if while we were enemies with God, while we were still sinners Christ died for us so that we may be reconciled to him in death, how much more will we be saved through his life! (Rom 5:1-11)  God himself has continued to provide for us though we despised and hated him.  How foolish have we become to bite the hand that feeds!  But now that God's love has been made plain to us through the death and resurrection of Christ, we now seek to imitate his love.  We who have experienced God's love and provision are being refined in the fire, being purified unto peace with a Holy God.

Romans 12:18

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."


We are not guaranteed to be friendly with everyone.  They are going to be people who will not forgive you even if you apologize as well as those who know how to hold a grudge for a lifetime.  There are some who will also never treat you they way you want to be treated and people who will discriminate against you.  Especially for the Christian, there will be people who downright hate you for trying to speak the truth in love to them for Christ's sake.

There is only so much you can do to pursue reconciliation and forgiveness on your end because it is a two way street, however it is worth doing.  Paul is asking us to do whatever is necessary to be at peace, and if peace is not possible, do everything you can.  That's really all Jesus ever really asked of you:  Do the best that you can.  In this way you live without regret.

So don't beat yourself up if people don't like you.  There will always be people who don't like you and if you are doing anything worthwhile, having haters is a good sign.  Love your haters and don't get mad at them because they do what is only natural to them.  Take care of their needs and let God handle the rest.  Try and make amends, but if they refuse, then just do what you can.